today students will

i woke up to the sound of the phone.
i answered it and found out about school.
i hung up.
i ate some more pills, pillhead.
i poked myself in the eye until my contacts were in.
i showered, washing off with soap.
i threw up.
i showered some more, shampooing my hair.
i sat outside doing schoolwork and being divebombed by robins while on the phone.
i sat inside doing schoolwork and being divebombed by words.
i had an idea.
i went to eat pizza.
i ate some sherbert.
i updated my blog.
i realized that i must be pretty dang self obsessed to start every sentence with the word i.
i realized that blogs are in fact about yourself.
i got blogs banned by the Pope.
i was just kidding about the last four sentences i wrote.
the rest of it was completely true.

a realization

today i woke up and did not go straight to the couch. instead i was an internet couch potato!

i also did schoolwork, but we wont mention that or we will puke.

then i realized that our household is in disarray. everytime a joke is told, Mom laughs too hard and runs to the bathroom. i laugh too hard and go into a coughing fit. and Andrew laughs too hard and falls asleep.

well....something like that.

anyway, i like chicken wings.

on not this day in 2006

for the past some number of days (i dont do math) i have been sick.

day 1: wake up feeling hungover but had not had anything besides a black cherry vanilla coke to drink. black cherry vanilla coke takes too long to say. so i shall abbreviate it as Dmitri. then i threw up.

day 2: was very achy and sniffly but felt better. no appetite. then i woke up at 2am, threw up three times in a row in a bright green color that gave new meaning to the term "stomach acid", and went back to bed with a 103°F fever.

day 3: i went to the doctor. they didnt know what was wrong with me but prescribed antibiotics just for fun.

day 4: i missed a day in here somewhere.

day 5: oh. on day 4 i was still sick and watched a movie. fever down to 102. then day 5 was yesterday, and my fever was wavering between 99 and 100. someone gave me a blue bear with a bag of chocolate kisses. for Easter not for getting well.

day 6: thats today. its Easter but i didnt get to go to church because im ill. however. there is no however. my mother didnt feed me today.

so my plans for the day are:

a) update my blog
b) leave you all annoying comments
c) spend an hour or two begging for food outside the funkymonkey cafe
d) pick up some change of address forms so that my mail will be forwarded to my permanent residence on the couch
e) pick up some legal name-change forms so that i will from now on be known by my true name, couch potato
f) come to terms with my illness and realize that the couch is a normal place to spend time when one is sick. then delete this post and its lies

well as you can see ive got much to do.

Toodles!

on this day in 2006

i was invited to a ball in 1863.

this is because i am very old.

today, i went to church. there was an excellent sermon preached. i defined some terminology differently than the preacher, but i agreed with him mostly. it was exciting.

then i came home. i harassed my mother into letting me not come home. er. leave home again. without the not. and um. i have a food in the coldstone. i have to go to place. BYE