The Land of the Super Boring

someone's choking my hourglass...

2010-10-07T12:35:00.001-07:00

why is redeeming the time so difficult?

i guess redemption is always difficult for the one doing the redeeming. take up your cross...

i've been rereading parts of "Emma" by Jane Austen late at night when i cant sleep and i get hungry and i can't eat without reading. in it, the ever-annoying Mrs.Elton is always going on about her "resources." she need not be at a loss to live in a small town, because she has so many resources within herself, she doesnt need society or entertainment. all of this is completely bogus, but she prides herself on saying it.

well, i am more honest than Mrs.Elton. i have no resources. not that i have no resources internally- but in terms of, say, health, transportation...theres just so many things i wish i were doing for the greater good that i cant.

on the bright side, i am actually sick enough that i dont care today. i have a cold. so i dont even want to be productive. i just want to have some nice warm apple cider and chicken noodle soup and watch a nice movie.

also on the bright side, i have made some progress in my health, and may soon have a car, so then i will be able to say with Mrs.Elton "i have many resources."

what else to blog about....oh! our new album is going to be awesome. i can tell because our rockin' new songs get stuck in my head all the time. sweet, no?

i think maybe i will go play some guitar, speaking of. see you at the aftermath- peace! but not really...um...

just kidding.

booooo

2010-10-04T07:44:00.000-07:00

my free vacation just got really expensive.

why, you ask? because of lack of proper planning.

ugh. i was looking forward to a vacation for just the two of us. maybe now we can spend more time with our goddaughter and her mom...but, maybe not, because it all depends on our ride. roar. well, i am supposed to be not sad, so i will just look at it this way: either we spend more time with Roo and Megan, or we will take a cheap local vacation for just the two of us.

sigh. i should be happy today. i woke up early, feel decent, had a great weekend church meeting, Jamie's getting off early today. and i am happy about all of those things. i just don't handle disappointment very well.

who knows. this whole post could change. it depends on what Jamie thinks. but i hate changing plans. i know that's dumb, but i do. it just displeases me. i have no spontaneity. do i?

maybe i will take a blogthing and find out. and then go be productive. that's what will make me feel better, right?

You Are 32% Impulsive

You're a pretty stable and serious person. You don't take things lightly.

This doesn't mean you can't have fun - you just have fun responsibly.

You definitely have a spontaneous side, but you only let loose when it's appropriate.

Consider being a little more impulsive. It feels freeing to completely let go.

Are You Impulsive?

Blogthings: We'll Tell You The Truth... Someone Has To!

sigh....

insomnia

2010-09-17T00:23:00.000-07:00

this is probably not the first post I've titled "insomnia" ....

oh well.

I can't sleep. and as I can't sleep, I'm thinking about church. Some people don't understand why we have to go to church. And sometimes it's hard to give an answer. I've done it all my life- I don't think much about why, but I know I need to, sort of like breathing or eating. But then someone asks a question like, "well, if you read the Bible on your own, and pray, why can't that be enough?" Well, it's never enough, that's one thing. There's not much you can do to pay back a holy God; thankfully, He doesn't make us do that. the point of doing what God says is to be close to Him, to show gratitude and love to Someone Who has loved us so much, and blessed us even though we haven't done enough, and for our good and the good of others- not to do enough. So, why church then?

1. God says to in the Scripture- which indicates that it's a critical part of our relationship with Him and our love of our neighbor.
2. There's a community built by worshipping together, by fulfilling simultaneously both of the great commandments.
3. Sometimes you see miracles in that community. Repentant sinners. Loved sinners. Redemption reenacted by the Holy Spirit in each one of us.
4. Sometimes you can see the Lord's work most clearly: a preacher expounding on what you read last night or this morning, two different ministers unwittingly being given from the Lord the same text from which to preach, many voices blending in harmony and passion for worship of their Lord.
5. To have a place to lay aside everything and know nothing except Jesus Christ.

I know this is not quite as tight of an explanation as it should be, but you get the gist. don't blame me, I'm sleep deprived. nonetheless, there's my thoughts. enjoy.

well, it made me laugh

2010-06-17T00:04:00.001-07:00

You Are 10% Extrovert, 90% Introvert

You avoid people at all costs

You aren't one for social interaction

And you limit your interaction to a select few

Thank God for self checkout!

Are You An Extrovert or An Introvert?

The First Rule of Blogthings Is: You Don't Talk About Blogthings

for my 101st post, i am going to imagine

2010-04-20T12:53:00.000-07:00

and by saying so, i instantly had a strange combination of John Lennon's "Imagine" and MercyMe's "I Can Only Imagine" stuck in my head. sorry, Andrew.

I wonder what has happened to us. our God is the same, His power is the same, yet I can't see us as using it like we ought to be...and I suppose we never will, this side of heaven. But I think that we aren't even...attempting, I suppose, to use it as we ought. "Ye have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin." -Hebrews 12:4. Why aren't we doing that? I think we live with the comforting notion that we are too human to do any better than we are doing, that our spiritual highs and lows are caused by chance or that God sometimes lets us be great and sometimes holds back, but we are wrong, because He has promised that His grace IS sufficient, not that it will be when we are in a bad time, but that it IS. He has provided us everything we need, He is working in us, and we are called to work His work out, exercise and try our faith. We can do all things through Him, He strengthens us. Are we inferior to the apostles? They were just as human as us and yet they turned the world upside down. How did they do it? By living for Christ. Even the founding fathers of the United States stand as examples of what a revolution (literally) we can have when we are determined to do what God would have us to do- to worship in freedom, to not teach every man his neighbor and every man his brother saying "Know the Lord" (because all His children know Him already), but to edify our neighbors and brethren by our free open worship- these are the principles that started the immigration to the "New World" for many, and they are the principles are government stood for when the Declaration and the Constitution were written. Even the Israelites, for all their falling away and all their coming back and falling away again, had moments of unbelievable greatness as a nation, and now as the church, we are mediocre, when we should be having moments of unbelievable greatness. God has passed the torch, so to speak, from the nation of Israel to the church of the New Testament, and we are chasing our tails instead of running with it. If we would run, we could have moments like the one at mount Carmel, or the moment when God revealed His glory to Moses, or when they took Jericho, or Pentecost.

God has set every member in the body of Christ as it has pleased Him to do. Where are the members who are called to revolutionize our political system? To preach till we are thrown in jail and then preach to the jail? Is it you? Is it me? Why aren't we doing this? Why aren't we preaching with our vote? He set us with our gifts and our personalities and our interests where we belong, so why aren't we functioning as the members He called us to be?

From a practical standpoint, it seems simple yet difficult to me. How can we become the members He wants us to be? By fulfilling the two greatest commandments. Love the Lord with everything, love your neighbor the way you love yourself. Love the Lord with devoted time with Him, with continual prayer throughout the day and continual reading and meditation on the Word, with obedience to His commandments and His Spirit's guidance. Love your neighbor by having the right priorities- working out the righteousness God has given you through the sanctification of Christ's blood and the Spirit first, your spouse next if you have one, then your children or parents & siblings, dedicating your time and energy according to the opportunities God has given you, to love each person that you have an opportunity to by building them up in love and Christ and fellowship and obeying God's commandments regarding that person. God says through the apostle Paul "As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men" and He has created some set opportunities for us to focus our priorities on: spouse, household, church family, coworkers, strangers. Sometimes we get so overwhelmed, but we just have to look at it as a narrowing scope of opportunity: you have a continual opportunity to glorify the Lord in your own heart, a great opportunity to bless your spouse and glorify the Lord in your marriage, a nearly as great one with the family you live with, a very good one with your church family, about the same with your extended family, about the same with your friends, a good one with your coworkers, and the occasional one with strangers. And history reveals that with this simple format of obedience, God will do great things.

So let's imagine, let's dream a little. What if we make this a priority? What if we went back to meeting with our local church family every day, briefly enough to not interfere with our family devoted time or our private devoted time, but enough to know each other's sorrows and joys, enough to have a prayer ministry, enough to be like the church in the book of Acts, daily with one accord? What if we were immersed in the Word, filled with the Spirit, shaped by our Father? We can do this you know. What if we voted like Christians? What if we prayed for our leaders? What if we kept our leaders accountable? What if we didn't compromise the Scripture?

I have learned that one of my gifts is the ability to plan, to imagine (Romans 12:8, the gifts of exhortation and ruling with diligence, aka structuring things)- to exhort and encourage us in the gifts that we, to show others what they can be doing in their ministry and innovate ways to expand my own, while bringing those innovations to fruition in the time I have that isn't spent dreaming them up. I am so thankful that God brought me to an executive, my husband, whose gifts are practical ministry, or I would be a lot of empty ideas and not much execution! But just for a minute, humor me, and let's imagine how we could all be gifted, how our talents could serve the Lord.

Can you imagine what the world would do with a Christian celebrity? What if some one of you out there has an acting talent, and a desire to serve the Lord? It blows my mind to think about what it would be like to have an actor or actress who worked his or her way up on the stage and in the movies, only doing clean and meaningful work, coming perhaps to fame and fortune, and giving it all away. We aren't really supposed to have possessions. Christians are not supposed to accumulate stuff. We are supposed to have stuff that we use. I am trying to cleanse my life of possessions that are just that- possessions, not tools. If it's useful, even if it's entertainment that's useful, it can stay, but if not, why waste resources on it? Those resources could be used to feed the hungry, to glorify Christ. You will find I have a lot of books and instruments, and my husband has a lot of tools and gadgets, but those are things that further our own talents so that we can use them in our ministry. I want to write edifying books, my husband wants to make edifying things. We have some games, video and board, that we use to have good clean fellowship. But those are limited, because we don't need a wide variety to have good fellowship. I am trying to revolutionize. Do we need to waste money on cable TV? Do we need to waste space on games we don't often play, or movies that aren't edifying? Do we need to waste our time on those? We could use that time to serve Christ, or to watch a movie that IS edifying, or play a game that brings us fellowship. Do we need to have junk? But back to my imagined scenario, if I can try to not be wasteful, can you imagine what the world would do with a millionaire actress who lived with her parents and waited on the Lord to bring her a husband and spent ALL her profit (beyond paying her bills and the entertainment that hones her craft, not even moving out and spending more money in that way and exposing herself to the loss of accountability in her relationships) on charity? Living at home, you don't need to be making more than poverty level to keep from being a burden on your parents. Imagine if someone with millions of dollars per movie, say making a million to make a movie in one year, spent all but 20,000 of it on charity. (That's 980,000$ a year for those of you who can't fathom it.) This is the kind of miracle we could be if we would only use what God has given us to glorify Him. And then, suppose she got married and her husband provided for her, and she worked out her hours so that she could be home with him and still exercise her talents, and that whole $1,000,000 went to charity, every year that she made a movie. That's a lot of clean water in Africa, that's a lot of orphans taken in or homes built or food provided or education given or gospel preached.

What if there were figure skaters in modest clothing? Who moved modestly? Picture a girl in a beautiful outfit that covers her when she moves twirling around the ice, who in her interviews doesn't put down her competitors and talk about how great she is but thanks the Lord and makes edifying comments about other people. How about a fashion designer who makes modest clothes? Writers, musicians, officials, all those that the eyes of the world are on, living a revolutionarily, not just nominally, Christian life. What if our business owners were upfront and hardworking? What if you just knew if you worked with that Christian-owned company you would get a good deal because they are dedicated honest workers? How about godly teachers who treat children well, work hard, and esteem their students more highly than themselves? Farmers who were good stewards of God's creation and worked to raise profit crop to give away? Ex-cons who showed true repentance and gave to others, whatever the cost to prove their change? Chefs who made food to nourish rather than to maximize their wages, who fed the poor? What if?

Then the Lord would be glorified in us, and our lives and country and world would be beautified. Not perfect, not heaven, but we could be testimonies to the Lord working in incredible ways, just as the great cloud of witnesses we learn about in Hebrews 11 were.

As you're picturing this, do you feel like I do? I think it just might be worth striving unto blood, I think it just might be worth running until we are ready to faint and then looking to Jesus and being strengthened.

craziness

2010-03-21T16:30:00.000-07:00

Recently I was talking to a friend about how much change is going through all our lives. So I thought I would review.

1. In the past year and a half, I have gone from courting to engaged to married.
2. In the past year, I have moved into a new home, become a keeper at home, obtained a part-time outside the home job to supplement my full-time keep at home job, and now am moving again.
3. In the past year, I have gone from theorizing that if I had a sister and she were having a baby, that I would want to be there with her, and that furthermore if my best friend, the closest thing I have to a sister, were having a baby, I would want to be there, to not at all theoretically being in the hospital room when she delivered her beautiful daughter, to being the first person besides the mom to hold the baby, then to helping my "sister"s father move, then to dropping her and her 5 week old off to head to another state and a better life.
4. In the past year, my "second brother" graduated from college and got married and now his wife is graduating and going to be a teacher.

I feel like there's more even though that's plenty! You see some of the changes are not me directly but I've pointed out how closely connected they are. Oh, how about we went from being just a little garage band to playing shows almost every weekend?

They say change is good. All the changes I listed are positive things, and I'm glad they all happened. But I think it's time fore me to take a breath!

i have a real post in the works

2010-02-23T20:57:00.001-08:00

but I'm too busy to finish writing it, so this is to tide yall over in the meantime.

You Should Smell Like Lemon

You are honest and real. You don't shy away from being yourself, even if it's a bit hard to swallow.

You are refreshingly truthful and direct. You do have flaws, and you don't even try to hide them.

You are happiest when you are around people who truly get you. It takes a while for you to make a stranger a friend.

You have a very unique personality. You have a dark sense of humor that only certain people get.

What Fruit Should You Smell Like?

Work is Hard. Time for Blogthings!

notes on a sermon on the Holy Spirit

2009-11-10T14:56:00.000-08:00

You can be an heir or child (alive- quickened; born- born again; adopted- indwelt & saved) and still not have reached adulthood (filled with the Spirit, a believer in Christ, obedient to the will of your Father- the work of the Spirit performed until the day of Christ!)

The Father’s appointed time for us to come out from the schoolmaster of the law was the incarnation of Christ; now the law is only our history and we are to be filled with the Spirit.

Works salvation is no salvation; works gospel is no gospel; belief in works salvation gospel is no act of faith in Christ.

Belief in Christ is an outworking of God’s work of grace; works salvation is a perversion of the intellectual pride.

Our hope is not in our works or belief but in the work and faith of Christ; the Spirit’s faith in us lays hold on Christ’s work and cries to our Father for us.

The Holy Spirit does the work of regeneration as well as the work of comfort and promise after we believe, to continually help us serve God.

If you are a child and have been made alive by the Holy Spirit, ask after Him that made you alive, ask that He be given to you the more, ask that He work in your life, ask to be with Him and be filled with Him, and ultimately that you can please Him.

It is the work of the Holy Spirit to give us the desire and ability to love and serve God and to pull our hearts toward Him.

update demanded

2009-11-09T17:44:00.000-08:00

i tried to take a blogthing but then i didnt feel like posting any of those.

i have discovered that i have very little health and very little wealth, have a great desire to be healthy, no desire to be wealthy, and a great interest in accumulating wealth.

yall can chew on that for awhile until i come up with something longer to post.

scroll through, get updates

2009-08-11T21:28:00.000-07:00

"because my blog was ambushed" and "lime popsicle juice jeans and a jackalope hat are not business-casual" have been edited, previous entries have been commented on. so if you commented recently on one of my older posts, check there for a response to your comment.

i have been working on some essays, so hopefully those are forthcoming. at least i have been a much more frequent updater lately...unlike some people. enjoy!

because my blog was ambushed

2009-08-10T12:04:00.000-07:00

and because i am a rebel who insists on being different, and a writer who insists on being precise. i am now going to list 14 things i love. why do that when the ambush called for only 7? because the English word "love" just really isnt specific enough. my first 7 are going to refer to those i hope to love, that is, those i love with "agape" (unconditional) or "philea" (brotherly) love, in a labor of charity. my second 7 are going to refer to things i love passionately, or in other words, really like a lot. :-)

incidentally, the labor of agape/philea charity (see I Corinthians 13) means that i am working toward the second type of love for these as well, but it is imperfect because it is not naturally built in, it is part of being a new creature in Christ, and being more than a passion it is subject to the errors of my flesh. however, i hope i can say i love these things. here are the first 7 which i hope and work to love:

1. The LORD my God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength, able because He loved me first and gives me love.
2. My husband, primary to see any glorying of our God of love I may miraculously manifest, as joined by that (the only) God.
3. My original family- which, by the way, includes a self-adopted brother and sister- with honour and empathy.
4. My brethren in Christ unfeignedly.
5. My neighbor as myself.
6. My enemies in prayer, good acts, and blessing.
7. My friends.

a few (i say a few, the whole Bible is pretty much about love, see Galatains 5:22-23) Scriptures relating to these first seven:
1. Matthew 22:37-40, John 21:15-17, I John 4, Romans 8 "all the law and the prophets" or, can be found in all Scripture.
2. Matthew 19:4-6, Ephesians 5:17-33, Song of Solomon, Colossians 3:18-19, Titus 2:1-6.
3. Leviticus 19:17, Ephesians 6:1-3, Colossians 3:20, I Timothy 5:4, I Peter 3:8-9, Proverbs 17:17, Proverbs 18:24, Hebrews 13:1.
4. Philippians 2:1-2, I Peter 1:22-23, I Peter 3:8-9 again, I Corinthians 12, Romans 12.
5. Leviticus 19:18, Galatians 6:10.
6. Matthew 5:43-48.
7. Proverbs 18:24.

okay so the second 7 should be more interesting, that is, more exposing of me, because they are less drawn from Scripture and less drawn from what we are all responsible to do, more drawn from the individual and i dare say unique gifts God has given to me (how amazing!), so this should be more like the intent of the ambush and less like a theology lesson heh. apologies, sometimes i cant help myself, once i saw one Scripture, it just kept going. anyway!

1. The Bible- was that obvious? I am addicted, and I actually get insecure if there is not one at hand.
2. Meetings of church, I smile much more at church, it's the perfect place to talk about Scripture.
3. Reading, I have books everywhere, I can't get through a meal without a book (unless I have someone to talk to.)
4. Creation, particularly animals, particularly horses- I think we have a responsibility to love animals, God made them for us. and! I love horseback riding, it just seems like something I am meant to do.
5. Writing, this I know I'm supposed to be doing, I can't help it, I am always writing in my head and I can never finish one idea without starting about six others, but I never stop the first idea either!
6. Music, especially playing guitar- I think my hands were made for it, it's like going to another world, a carefree and passionate world that I can't even explain to you, the awesome world of music!
7. Laughter- no one is safe from my and my family's sarcastic and sometimes goofy humor, not even my doctors!

phew, that was a long post just for an ambush. now maybe you learned something about me! :-)

PS: i didnt ambush 7 other blogs because i dont think i have 7 other blogging friends, and most of mine have already been ambushed. so, i will just say: Andrew, Dad, Colvin, Elsa, Jamie, and Werewolf Daniel should get on this.

lime popsicle juice jeans and a jackalope hat are not business-casual

2009-08-06T17:50:00.000-07:00

i am addicted to church. two days a week forty minutes from my home isnt cutting it...time long overdue for a return to New Testament ways.

"And all that believed...continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, did eat their meat with gladness and singleness of heart, praising God, and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to the church daily such as should be saved." - Acts 2:44...46-47. go home and read the whole thing, its outstanding. praying, revive us again.

incidentally, those two services a week have been blessed far beyond our desert lately. but that never seems to stop me from wanting more. :-)

i told my pastor this and he told me that i just want to go on to heaven. but that's not really what it is. i am too appreciative (or try to be) of the ministry that the Lord gives us here, particularly of marriage, to be asking for that. no, i just want the kingdom of heaven- "Thy kingdom come"- and maybe a nice little daily prayer meeting. spiritual-casual. that doesnt mean apathetic spirituality, it means informal spirituality, free from the ceremonial law, under grace, full of the doctrine and fellowship of witnesses to Christ's resurrection.

you see, i dont even want daily church service. i just want a maybe lunch-break half-hour time of fellowship, prayer, doctrine, and breaking of bread with my brethren. nothing that would interfere with family worship- in the same sense that i still want to spend time with my family of origin but not to an extent that interferes with my new family- just add to congregational worship. is that so much to ask? maybe, but i am willing to work for it, and i worship a God who is able to do exceeding abundantly above ALL that i ask or think. crazy! lets be thankful...

PS

2009-07-26T19:04:00.001-07:00

we are going on tour...and our song needs to be rated on indie heaven. check out smoothstones.net

do it. really do it.

and read my other post.

do it. really.

Nike slogan insert here.

i had

2009-07-26T18:56:00.000-07:00

a very miraculous day. and a weekend of visiting, which was nice, but i am about ready for some return to honeymoon.

in other news, i have been very annoyed by a world full of people not fulfilling their God-given roles and particularly the tragic story of laziness and personal economic ruin, to say nothing of the political economic ruin we are currently in that has nothing to do with individual laziness but is still ruining individual peoples finances. however, after a miraculous day and nice weekend, it just doesnt seem that important, right?

in other other news, whats up with the fact that none of you people commented on my life goals? they are just crying out for feedback! go back and do it!

oh yeah, and for your own experience with my miracles, go check out mtcarmelpbc.org. you will find two of them posted there, though that is by no means all that happened today. at any rate, miracles make me joyful, peaceful, hopeful, and happy, so that is how i feel, though you may not be able to tell by the two paragraphs of complaints. my point was, all that stuff is the frustrating reality of living in this world, and we have to deal with it, but it has no right or ability to interfere with the joy, peace, and hope. lastly, i would like to announce that joy, peace, hope, and happiness are prime ingredients for contentment, which is a prime ingredient for a nap a la cat-in-sunshine, so good night!

can any be more hopeful?

2009-07-18T18:43:00.001-07:00

blech!

2009-06-18T00:20:00.000-07:00

I have been infected.
No, not by zombies, but it is something that eats at the brain.
I'm not going to keep eliminating all y'all's guesses, I'm just going to say:
In the midst of prayer the other day I suddenly discovered in my life the presence of the virus of tolerance.
I have to take it down, have to eradicate it before it spreads. It disgusts me beyond belief. Guilty, reinforcing everything I already know about being totally depraved. Thank God it's communion this weekend, so I can repent in unleavened bread and wine (the NT version of sackcloth and ashes.) Not that I necessarily look forward to the mourning the Lord part, but the fellowship with Him and that special time is worth it all.

At this point, I want to swear off tolerance, but I don't think I can guarantee that. Not yet anyway. But I'm praying never to be lukewarm about sin, in my life, in anyone's. I Peter 1:15- 16 says "But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy." The God who called me will not even look upon sin. (Habakkuk 1-2) I want my eyes to be as holy as my Father's eyes, as He commanded- I don't want our culture to numb me to sin. I don't want to hear of someone committing fornication or lying or abusing the temple of the Lord and shrug it off, even if they are outside the church. Mercy, charity, and truth only from here on out. And I certainly don't want to quench the Spirit. I'm done with that. I hope.

Intolerance is a virtue, kids. Believe it.

#3 & #4

2009-06-10T21:25:00.000-07:00

check.

Life Goals

2009-05-05T05:39:00.001-07:00

1. To be a good & faithful servant of the Lord, filled with the knowledge of His will
2. To have a godly marriage that testifies of the gospel and shows the Holy Spirit's fruit of love in me worked out toward Jamie
3. To have a deeply meaningful wedding to Jamie under the sound of water during a worship meeting
4. To worship together with all of my first family
5. To raise children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord
6. To be an edifying member of Mt.Carmel and of my family
7. To be a good friend
8. To write an in-depth book on the Messianic prophecies in the Tanakh
9. To write an in-depth book on fulfilled prophecies in the New Testament
10. To write a comprehensive commentary on the Bible, including scientific and archaeological background of each verse and reference verses, and not including my opinions (perhaps I will write essays of my beliefs on each chapter at the end of the section of the book/series analyzing all the verses in said chapter)
11. To travel to Israel and surrounding countries to gather said archaeological information
12. To ride a horse in at least one combined-training event
13. To be a rock star who combines talents and gifts into a ministry for the Lord
14. To write spiritual novels
15. To write a book on equally yoked marriages
16. To become so fluent in Biblical languages as to be able to think and write and speak in them
17. To make a noncopyrighted literal-as-can-be literal translation of the Bible to put in an interlinear volume alongside the KJV and sell at Five and Below
18. To make a noncopyrighted limited English translation of the Bible (that means it has less vocabulary, using phrases where necessary instead of a more sophisticated word, so that people who do not know much English but whose language the Bible has not been translated into can learn about Christ) and also sell THAT at Five and Below
19. To make my own hymnal, including at least one version of every Psalm that I will compose myself, possibly two or three of each, and all the best hymns I can find even if they do come from CCM
20. To learn obscure tribal languages and translate the Bible into them and evangelize obscure tribes

Feel free to comment candidly on how close you may believe I am to attaining these goals. I have other books to write also, and maybe even some other goals, but these are the main ones and 20 is a nice round even number. #s 17, 18, and 20 are my newest ones. Like 'em?

20 days!

2009-05-04T20:51:00.001-07:00

I am so ready.

I AM NOT KANYE WEST

2009-04-13T11:23:00.000-07:00

and yet.

A Question Cried From The Hearts Of Evangelists Everywhere*

"In a world beyond controlling,
are you going to deny the Savior
in front of your eyes?
Stare into the night.
In a world beyond containing,
are you going to remain a slave for
the rest of your life,
given to the night?"**

*i have no survey data to support this, only the basis of my own evangelical heart.
**yes, they are Disturbed lyrics.

how big are giraffes?

2009-03-16T21:56:00.000-07:00

last night i had a dream that the zoo broke. the um...hereford zoo. and this gigantic giraffe was walking through my front yard, so of course, not expecting to encounter any giraffes any time soon, i opened my window to try to get near him. and he came over and stuck his head through the window and i petted him, and his muzzle, from the bottom of his mouth to the top of his nose, was as tall as my face from my chin to my forehead.

was this just an unusually huge giraffe? or is that normal?

after that a lion strolled by, but he didnt come over to the window. nor did he try to eat the giraffe. interesting.

blech

2009-03-11T21:13:00.000-07:00

i am very achy today. why am i blogging, then, you may ask? why when i have not had time to blog in so long would i get on late at night to complain about being achy? i will tell you why. because i am waiting for my food to digest so i can go to sleep. you see it is bad to eat before bed. it gives you a stomachache. but i was starving so i did it anyway. and now i have to wait a bit before i can sleep.

mission: find a place to live. thats what i have been up to lately. most of the wedding things is prepared. well, we need to rent some chairs. but most stuff is being worked on, is at least planned. so right now i am just focused on finding an after the wedding plan. but its exhausting. well, it isnt, really, but i am exhausted, so it seems that way.

what else....i am planning a lot of essays that i dont have time/energy to write. here is a partial list.

1. Be Ready
2. Holy Habits
3. Surprise Virtues, Part 1: Intolerance
4. Gifts, Callings, Talents
5. Rock-top

those are titles, not topics, but they mostly explain the topics. anyone have any other surprise virtues to continue my series? as you can see i have not come up with a part 2 yet. well, i may have, but its not listed. hence the term "partial list".

i am sad about Peter Furler stopping performing with the Newsboys. since he will still be in the studio i am tolerating it. but barely.

other news...please pray for my aunt Syl, she is very sick with lymphoma. also for our church, Mt. Carmel. we are having trouble coming together as one body. or i should say, we have had trouble. we are improving now, but only by His grace, so the prayers are still needed as its not a completed journey. when it is i will let yall know so you can wave your little stubs and say "stay the course. stay the course." thats an inside joke.

essay ideas...please pass along.

the petty

2009-02-25T20:22:00.000-08:00

I am sick of it.

The petty, that is. Maybe I always have been, and so I shouldn't be posting it like it's news or something. But it seems like news. I think I've never had to notice before now. I have always been surrounded with people interested in deeper things.

But life is changing, that's for sure. The people I grew up with are now just that. People I grew up with. Not people I am with. I have less than three months of living with a parent left. And that's a good thing, only because I will soon be living with a husband. But right now, it's strange. Jamie is always working or at school. In fact, it seems to me that everyone is always working or at school. And as for me, I am always sick.

It's not that I don't have plenty to do. Or that I don't see anyone at all. (Although the number of hours that I spend with other people per day is very low.) It's just that...

I don't want to talk about money or careers or fashion or bars or food. I want to talk about the necessary stuff. I am too intense, I know. It scares people. But it's true. I have no patience for this world. That scares even me. It's an early age for me to be saying with Solomon "all is vanity and vexation of spirit."

But that's why I was glad to go to the house of God and hear preaching tonight. Preaching, no less, on the importance of serving the Lord, because out of everything that money can buy or power can obtain, all is vanity, and the only good is for a person to fear God and keep His commandments.

Coincidence? I don't think so.

Well, that is my monologue of the day. I needed something to update my blog with, so there it is. A simple, black-and-white view of the world. Sometimes I need color, but right now black-and-white clarity seems good.

i am getting married!

2009-02-10T21:09:00.000-08:00

on May 24.

I just got the email from Dad showing confirmation of our reservation of the park. It's pretty exciting. And all of a sudden I am full of inspiration again, like I was when we first got engaged. There was awhile in there, waiting for Jamie's job situation to get worked out and all, that I felt like I had figured things out as far as I could. For the wedding, I mean, not the marriage. The one that we shall be will be a work in progress for all of life as much as the one I now am is, I should think. But that's the beauty of it! Jamie and I were just reading about how we don't know all the working that God does, just as we don't know how he created the universe. It's in Ecclesiastes 11, I think. And we said, "that's the beauty of it! Jesus Christ the same yesterday, today, and forever. He is always working." And He is always working in us. As the Newsboys would say (in our father-daughter dance song!) "To have found You, and still be looking for You, is the soul's paradox of love; You fill my cup, I lift it up for more."

Anyway. I had the bridesmaids' dresses picked out, I had my gown, I had my bouquet and all planned, I knew where we were going to have it,I knew the music, I felt done. But in an incomplete way. Like there was more I should know and I was just uninspired. Not as in I lost interest in the wedding, as in there were no ideas pouring out of me like before. And then there was the shoe fiasco...but let's not go there.

But then. We set a date. We went to the park, Dad booked it. And now I have ideas again! I hired a florist in my friend Jess because I want to have a lot of control but I also want to have a professional's eye on it, and now all of a sudden more flower ideas are coming to me. There's a little bridge next to our ceremony that just begs to be all wrapped in flowers. And for the church, for the reception- I think I want two big tall arrangements at the front and probably very little else. With apple branches. Jess will have to help me with that. And all these possibilities started occurring to me about the cake. So I have to talk to Megan about that. Big doves? Little doves? Fountain? Pearls? Stencil? Piping? Sugarpaste? Color? Originally I had thought the cake would be fairly simple, but then Megan said, "It's a work of art! I need you to give me some inspiration here!" and I started looking through magazines and seeing pictures and getting ideas, and now I can imagine it elaborately elegant. And I finally figured out how to do the centerpieces!

It just feels like it's all finally coming together. I just need an after-party site, some hoodlums to man cameras, a photographer...and some preparations for actual marriage, not the wedding. But it's going to be amazing. There isn't a bit of this relationship or the wedding that isn't dripping with meaning. Truly, my cup runs over.

So what can I say? I'm excited!

i cant help but notice...

2008-12-08T15:23:00.000-08:00

that the people who ordered me to update every 3 comments are not obeying their own rules.

GET WITH IT, PEOPLE!

i want commentary on my poem.

this house is not a home

2008-11-30T20:29:00.000-08:00

this house is not a home. i dont remember
the sight of home, exactly, but i know
there was an embrace
and refreshment on a shoulder,
in a hand. at home, i myself was different-
but this is true of every boarder
right?

this house is not a home
with its rent blue curtains
and gold-overlaid sculptures.
it is a place to bow, to dance,
to sing and make music,
to lie on a bed
in only meditation.
i labor for this temple,
care for it, make it useful.
it houses others
from time to time.

this house is not a home
but in the yard it gets closer.
in the space between
our two houses under a divided
firmament we can worship
in embrace. this is a time
of memory and prophecy,
when i ride on shoulders
or give you my hand
and we work out
everlasting love
from our souls
till we can almost touch.

this house is not a home.
it would be far better to leave it,
and sometimes i feel this truth
scraping at my flesh.
i make a needful choice,
only comforted in knowing their end.
Thank God, this is not my home,
and someday

i will take off my fleshly robe
and stay awhile
into eternity.

as of thursday

2008-11-09T13:49:00.001-08:00

WE ARE ENGAGED!!!!!!!!!!!!

hurray. :-D

ARGH

2008-11-04T21:48:00.000-08:00

why does everything seem to be going wrong?

i must not be trying hard enough. although, in the particular instance i am thinking of, i dont know how i could have tried harder than casting my vote.

i guess this isnt really going to affect me personally, so there is no reason to flee to Australia. but i am very afraid that having Obama as President is going to mean a loss of lives. his plan for Iraq is flat-out idiotic, so i am afraid of us losing soldiers there as well as Iraqi citizens. to say nothing of the countless that will be aborted...but, on the other hand, neither one of them was going to do much about that, and i dont think Obama will actually successfully get partial-birth abortion allowed. and then theres the part where i think...how will he keep us secure from terrorism? so how many lives will we lose there?

my only hope is that...well i have two hopes. three. one, that they have somehow miscounted and will fix it. two, that the lawsuit against Obama will go through and he will not get to be President because he is not a natural-born citizen (or possibly even a citizen at all.) or three, that i am very very wrong about him and he somehow does a decent job.

haha, did you like how i got all Spanish Inquisition with my hopes?

i am trying not to be too upset about this. i was too young to really know what was going on when Clinton was in office, so i guess i have been spoiled the past 8 years- i was always happy with the outcome of the election. but now...Obama is President-elect, slots went through...nothing, in short, is going my way in this election. i must not be trying hard enough. i must not be praying hard enough.

ah well. time to regroup. RON PAUL 2012!!!!!!!!!!!

PS: please do not fail to examine my last post, which was posted only moments before this one.

hahaha...i am the guru

2008-11-04T21:47:00.000-08:00

You Are the Guru

You are a naturally good counselor. You are inspiring, encouraging, and compassionate.

You are eager to help everyone who crosses your path, even those who don't want to be helped.

You are a natural healer. People feel at peace when they are with you.

You are so good for people, in fact, that they go through withdrawal once you're gone.

You quietly do your own thing, without openly resisting. You secretly try to fix every problem.

Your biggest regret is not being able to help as many people as you'd like.

What Role Do You Play?

i feel

2008-10-31T21:55:00.000-07:00

like i have about seven days to defeat an entire troop of the enemy that is five hundred miles away.

your prayers are appreciated.

PS: i hope yall suspend your literalism at the door of my blog.

blogthings: so much easier than actual writing

2008-10-28T22:23:00.000-07:00

i am sick again, not throwing up or anything, just extraordinarily CFS'd. but i knew my poor lonely blog needed a post, so i took a blogthing! because that is something easy to do when you are lazy. and this one is somewhat fitting.

You Are Cowboy Boots

This doesn't mean you're country, just funky.

You've got a ton of attitude and confidence.

You're unique, expressive, and even a little bit wacky.

You wear whatever you feel like â€“ and you have your own sense of style.

You are straight shooting and honest. You tell people how it is.

Low maintenance and free wheeling, you're always up for an adventure.

You should live: Where you can at least get to wide open spaces

You should work: In a job that allows you to take change

What Kind of Shoe Are You?

getting back into blogs again is hard to do

2008-10-20T16:34:00.000-07:00

hm...let's have a little flavor of some of my old posts.

so, over the weekend i went to another state.
i slept at someone else's house, bundled up in covers.
i threw up.
i slept, with just a sheet.
i woke up and was very very tired.
i missed the church service i came down for because i was asleep with a fever.

cool, huh?

but i am all better now. well i am still building up fluids, according to Mr. PhysicalTherapyMan. but i did make it to the next church service and the sermons were very good. one on chastisement (an interesting and semi-controversial subject) and another on end times (a semi-interesting and controversial subject.) here is something i never thought about before- if the morals of a country are suffering, it is the responsibility of the church, not the unchurched. that is so obvious but i never really considered it. that came up in the chastisement sermon- we are the ones who ought to be in tune enough with God to get the conviction/ feel His chastening hand, so it is our responsibility to make things better. if nowhere else, then at least in ourselves. we are the light of the world and we cannot be hid, so if we change...so does the world.

wow that was a lot more optimistic than i am honestly feeling.

what else...hm...i have a mid-term this week. and the first part of a project due. but i am not worried. well i am a little bit. but not really. i am almost done the first part of the project, i think, and then i will be well on my way to getting the whole thing done. its the project in the other class i need to worry about....

well my laptop is running out of juice and so am i. farewell, oh blogging world...

because she said so

2008-10-06T21:48:00.000-07:00

the title of this post is eerily similar to the title of this really awful movie i saw once or twice. i cant sleep tonight. but i guess that is not unusual. hm, well, what else is there? i had a surprisingly good time hanging out with a buncha guys (and Christina, but she was busy taking pictures/ spending time with Andrew) on Sunday. i guess that is not so surprising, but i was nervous about it...on the other hand i have never had trouble getting along with guys. but i am paying the price now, i have lots of soreness because of CFS. also, the sermon on Sunday was excellent. i am looking forward to next Sunday an unusual amount, which i am definitely taking as a positive thing. kudos to the pastor and much thanks to the Lord for subjects that are usually vastly ignored in our church circles getting proclaimed in a way that was glorifying to God and profitable to His people.

i have this Old Testament class. its making me nuts! i love that i am getting college credit for reading and talking about the Bible, but i also get very very antsy about all these people reading the Bible and not hearing the gospel. there are three people that talk, no four: the professor, the resident Arminian, the resident skeptic, and then me. how unfortunate. i just don't want all us students, particularly the seekers and the weak brethren in Christ and the self-righteous and the everything else that can be wrong with us, to hear the gospel of Arminius or the gospel of skepticism but rather the gospel of Jesus, the only true gospel. i dont know if i am up to that challenge, but it is stimulating at least.

well, i dont have much else to say right now. maybe sometime i will update this when i am not too sleepy to think!

Jamie is getting baptized on Sunday!

2008-06-04T23:26:00.000-07:00

i am so happy.

just wanted to say...

2008-05-31T20:04:00.000-07:00

im so excited for tomorrow.

i know no one reads this...

2008-05-07T21:59:00.001-07:00

...but thats exactly my problem, now isnt it?

i am so stressed out, upset about so many things, too tired to deal with anything,

and theres no one i can call in the middle of the night anymore.

my hands hurt

2008-05-02T22:53:00.000-07:00

massively.

and no one reads/writes blogs anymore.

how lame is that?

poetry

2008-03-27T23:27:00.000-07:00

i am up late every night wishing i could rest and trying to get at my heart, so here is what i have come up with for this particular night.

"In the beginning God"*
said
"Before Abraham was, "I AM"**
THAT I AM"***
the fulfillment of all the law and prophets
"ye sons of Jacob"°, "be not afraid: I am."°°
Or to that effect,
I jumble together because
He is just that infinite.
His words, more precise,
more perfect,
pristine like honey in golden drops
on the breath of the Word,
profitable in all things,
let me curl up in His arms,
and cry to my Daddy
in heaven.
Amazingly, in what may be
the form of a lion alongside a lamb
but to my eyes shows the comfort
of a bear-shape
jar He holds not words of honey
(those contained only by His breath)
but the tears of His choice love.

*Genesis 1:1 **John 8:58 ***Exodus 3:14 °Malachi 3:6 °°Matthew 14:27

i am not a poet, well, i wrote that poem, so i suppose i am, but i mean its not my thing. all im really trying to say is, i tried.

just wanted to comment a few things...

2008-02-25T12:55:00.000-08:00

i watched the lunar eclipse, and it was awesome. the snow and the cold air and being able to see my breath standing out on my roof were the perfect complements to a natural wonder like that. it always amazes me to see God's creation and particularly to see how He has practically put on an art show for us with things like that. its wonderful how we fit into the grand scheme of the universe, how all those things are put together ideally for life. and it made me think of a few Scriptures...

"The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth his handywork."
-Psalm 19:1

"The sun shall be turned into darkness, and the moon into blood, before the great and the terrible day of the Lord come."
-Joel 2:31 (thought of that one as the moon turned progressively more reddish. i think this verse may be talking about eclipses, actually. it sure sounds like it.)

anyway, i just thought i would share those sentiments.

just wondering

2008-01-30T23:54:00.001-08:00

whatever happened to honesty? it seems these days we all bow down to pride first.

well

2008-01-22T20:01:00.000-08:00

today was interesting. i saw some friends from high school and drank a lot of ice cream sodas and frozen hot chocolate. actually it wasnt all that interesting because we just sat around drinking our drinks and talking about writing like the literary geeks that they are. but i thought you all might like to know that my new favorite exceedingly cold drink is called a double brown cow. shaken, not stirred.

this song keeps going through my head, and i dont know which way its going to go

2008-01-06T17:33:00.000-08:00

Do you think about
everything you've been through?
You never thought you'd be so depressed.
Are you wondering
is it life or death?
Do you think that there's no one like you?

We are the ones:
we get knocked down,
we get back up
and stand above the crowd-
we are one.
We are the ones:
we get knocked down,
we get back up
and stand above the crowd-
we are one.

The life I think about
is so much better than this.
I never thought I'd be stuck in this mess.
I'm sick of wondering-
is it life or death?
I need to figure out who's behind me.

We are the ones:
we get knocked down,
we get back up
and stand above the crowd-
we are one.
We are the ones:
we get knocked down,
we get back up
and stand above the crowd-
we are one.

announcing....

2007-12-07T13:49:00.001-08:00

The official unveiling of the Quotes Page Blog.

SNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-12-04T03:22:00.001-08:00

but you still have to read my other post, o cruel non-comment-leavers.

~Ma'am Gallahad AKA the Comment Eater

riot against count olaf, anyone?

2007-11-27T17:37:00.000-08:00

Do you remember
many years ago
when we were young,
how we used to play together
every day?

It seems like yesterday-
the childhood world
of clowns and cotton candy
and summer days
that never seemed to end
when we played hide'n'seek
from four o'clock till dusk
then sat outside on someone's stoop
and listened to the crickets
and slapped away mosquitoes
and talked about our dreams
and what we'd do when we grew uo
until our mothers called us in.

And do you remember
that one winter when it snowed
for days and days on end
and we tried to build an igloo
like the Eskimos?
Or when we made a game
of raking leaves
all up and down the street
until we'd made the biggest pile
the world had ever seen
and then we jumped in it?
Or how about the time
we gathered honeysuckle
from your yard
and sold it to the neighbors?
And the grand day when finally
the training wheels came off our bikes
and we were free
to explore the whole world
in an afternoon
so long as we stayed
on our own street.

But those days passed by furtively
and we grew up, as children do
until we reached a day when we
assumed that we were too grown-up
to play amid the trees on summer nights...
and when I see you now
you've changed in ways I can't explain.
You're like a rose that blooms before its time
and falls a victim to
the February frost.

Because the waist on your jeans is getting tight,
symbolic of a youth that's not your own,
and your face is pale and green-
You don't look well.
I see you scowling at the street
from the window in your room,
it's so rare to see you smiling anymore.
And when a car pulls up outside
you run downstairs and out the door
with a suitcase in each hand
and the car speeds away,
and the girl next door is gone.

And I long once more
for the summer days
when I stood on your porch
and banged on your door
and bade you come outside to greet
the afternoon's adventures.

Won't you come out to play, once more?
For we are still so young...

-Amanda Dykstra

(she wrote the poetry, but the sentiment fits for me.)

i changed something!

2007-11-21T00:22:00.001-08:00

if you can figure out what it is, tell the world in a comment on this post!

until then, no more updates!

i have no idea how this happens...

2007-11-13T01:22:00.000-08:00

it is 4:31AM. I am trying to stay up till this afternoon because Mr.PhysicalTherapyMan wants me to cycle forward since i have insomnia and am going to sleep during the morning/day and getting up at evening/night. (maybe i really am a vampire- haha.) but when i tried to go to bed earlier to fix this problem, i couldnt sleep. theoretically it works like this:

Day 1
4AM: go to bed
4PM: wake up

Day 2
9AM: go to bed
9PM: wake up

Day 3
2PM: go to bed
2AM: wake up

Day 4
7PM: go to bed
7AM: wake up

or something like that, resulting, as you see by Day 4, in me sleeping at night. the only problem is, ironically, i have physical therapy. so im skipping to Day 3 even though it is really only Day 2. in a few minutes, i am going to go try to clean the kitchen and make breakfast for my housemates, since they have places to go and im up anyway. hopefully after that i will work on my diagram for my aunt and then maybe do some writing. (the diagram is a modified Triangle, without the K, for those that dont know.)

anyway, i got on here to say that while i am killing time to make the night pass, im hanging out on lappy and making what i intended to be a little playlist for the day. somehow it is now 48 songs. how does that happen?

01.10.07sasquatchcola.blogspot.com/comment.

2007-11-08T14:05:00.000-08:00

me too.

who woulda thunk

2007-10-26T13:03:00.000-07:00

You Could Be a Vampire... If You Had To

Like most people, the thought of being a vampire has crossed your mind. But you're not sure if you'd do it, even if you could.

Living forever doesn't sound half bad, if you could live forever with the people you love the most.

But do vampires even love? And would the vampire version of you even be you?

It's all too much to contemplate. Luckily, the chances of you ever becoming a vampire are astronomically low.

What you would like best about being a vampire: Living forever

What you would like least about being a vampire: Blood stained teeth

Could You Be a Vampire?

well, this is my summary of today

2007-10-23T18:03:00.000-07:00

I have achy face and an eeeeevil accent.

remind you of anyone?

PS: my last post is from a song. it is by cake and i believe it is called "when you sleep."

when you sleep

2007-10-09T10:30:00.001-07:00

where do your fingers go?

it is amazing

2007-09-24T21:06:00.000-07:00

to receive such strength from God that I barely feel human.

"And the LORD said unto him, Who hath made man's mouth? or who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? have not I the LORD?
Now therefore go, and I will be with thy mouth, and teach thee what thou shalt say."

to experience brotherly love so full that it cannot be of human attempt, humbling and full of truth.

"Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful."

to receive a direct answer to prayer so powerful as to be transforming.

"If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?"

to be part of the body of Christ.

"Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me."

to find it within God's will that I should be part of the institution He set up to symbolize His relationship with the church, with a man who so amazes me that grateful Scripture constantly comes to mind.

"He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love."

it is amazing. i am full of amazement. i am amazingly in love. when life is hardest, it is then that He carries us. i have never had so much to stress about, but i have never been so amazed. life is full of miracles.

so guess what?

2007-08-07T20:17:00.000-07:00

i am no longer single.

well...

2007-07-17T22:55:00.000-07:00

my blog hasnt been updated in a month. so even though i dont have many bloggable thoughts (no one really wants to see a post on how i keep forgetting sentences and my cravings for foods that start with the letter p and my five hour nap and bizarre dreams), i decided i should blog. happy birthday to katie who will not see this. um...other thoughts...um...rats, i forgot my sentence again. today i helped Mom at work and patients kept asking me questions that i didnt know the answers to. yesterday Jamie came over to help Aunt Janet fix her computer and it was nice to finally see him. the day before that i went to church AND up to southampton for more church.

those are pretty much the most interesting things that have happened to me.

here, have a pretty poem that relates to my mood lately:

maybe I push when I'm meant to be still
maybe I take it all too personal-
Jesus, how to reconcile?
the joyful noise, the ancient land,
the tug from some invisible hand,
the dying mother, weaving bulrushes
along the nile

Flows her basket over the sea.
Here on a barren shore,
she'll be waiting for
a tailwind to carry her orphan's cry.
"don't you worry child
i wrote a lullaby."

I try to settle, but I just pass through:
a rain-dark gypsy, a wandering Jew.
All those homes were not ours.
Then I slept one night in Abraham's field
and dreamt there was no moon
the night he died
counting stars.
Selah.

Flows her basket over the sea.
Here on a barren shore,
she'll be waiting for
a tailwind to carry an orphan's cry.
"don't you worry child
I wrote a lullaby."

Building you a home,
building you a home- Selah.

So flows her basket over the sea,
here on a barren shore,
we'll be waiting for
a tailwind to bring us Your sweet cry:
"don't you worry child
God'll sing you a lullaby."

sniffle

2007-06-18T22:00:00.001-07:00

You Should Own a Beagle

Low maintenance, very friendly, and sturdy.

What Kind of Dog Should You Have?

just a rather hypocritical thought

2007-06-18T19:51:00.001-07:00

no blogs ever get updated.

ahem.

take two houseplants is in the hospital on life support, so keep it in your thoughts.

one lively ghost down has a drinking problem and is often passed out for long periods of time.

the land of the super boring suffers from frequent illness.

somebody do something! we cant let what happened to mine happen to all these innocent blogs!

and also, im thinking about making a new blog. for the quotes page. opinions?

happy megan's birthday to all! (and especially megan)

2007-06-01T10:43:00.000-07:00

on this day, nineteen years ago, the person who would become by closest friend was born. i wasnt born for another six months and we didnt know each other for another eleven years, but from when i first met her now eight years ago i have felt for her the kind of bond that could only be described as that of the sister i never had. she has been with me through my times of blindness (i would be a much bigger jerk if it wasnt for her, just so you all know), craziness (team monkey, anyone?), goofiness (check out our books of wheres waldo in black and white), happiness (duh! between the two of us anything can be made fun), and even occasional seriousness (everything from the spiritual to the practical.) i couldnt ask for a better sister even if she was born at the same time as me or at least at a time when it was plausible for us to be blood-related.

anyway, i just thought you all might like to share in the celebration, because if you know me, know that her life touched mine and so when mine touched yours, it was better at it and was done by a better person than I would have been if this day had not occurred or had not brought megan with it nineteen years ago. thats the long sappy way for me to say...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEGAN!!!!!!!!!

ps: that picture is as close to embarrassing baby photos as i get...

heaven forbid...

2007-05-22T00:47:00.000-07:00

it is late, very late. i once again cant sleep. its because i drank hot tea to soothe my aching fuzzy throat, but unfortunately hot tea has caffeine and it apparently has no intention of wearing off. but thats lucky for yall, since i only seem to post when i have insomnia. or maybe not so lucky. i havent decided yet.

im feeling very artsy. i havent had much sleep and i feel like my brain is stuffed up with infection (even though technically i dont know that i have one.) oh, but ive also had a ton of sleep. fifteen hours or so. just now i cant, and its late. very late. im listening to the fray, and they make me feel more...um...whats the word? not artsy, although that. out of it i guess. other worldish. insomnia does that, and the fray does that, and thinking a lot does that.

i am considering taking summer classes. crazy, right? i just dont want to be in school forever. i want a degree um NOW. and i havent even technically gotten my high school diploma yet. ouch.

anyway i dont know if i need an art class for my degree, but if i do i might take one this summer. i am working on a self portrait. if not that then maybe a science or psychology. we will see.

ive been thinking about friendship and the oedipus complex. i think we are only friends with people who remind us of our family. personality wise, that is. character wise we seem to befriend all sorts of people, foolishly, mercifully, selfishly, lovingly. who knows? and then of course theres that phenomenon where you end up marrying someone who is kind of like your father or mother. i guess thats just the extended version of only befriending people who remind you of your family. although that only works if youre an only child. which im not, at all. anyway, im crazy. i need sleep. and i have to notice that Christ didnt befriend people who reminded Him of His family. He befriended sinners, the furthest thing from His family possible. but then He saved us and made us His family. maybe the thing is that we only know how to relate to other people through ourselves and our families.

maybe i am ready to sleep now. i dont know, but its late, very late, and i gotta try it.

"step one, you say, we need to talk.
he walks,
you say, sit down, it's just a talk.
he smiles politely back at you,
you stare politely right on through.
some sort of window to your right
as he goes left and you stay right.
between the lines
of fear and blame
you begin to wonder why you came."

(somewhere along in the bitterness, and i cant sleep. heaven forbid. get this fray out of my head.)

i feel like Karla

2007-04-24T12:31:00.000-07:00

and the only thing to do is

PLAY MORE SONIC

click here

i cant sleep

2007-04-15T00:01:00.000-07:00

but i dont mind yet. i will tomorrow.

ive been reading, and was pressed with this urge to get on here and remind us all and mostly myself that the Word has all the answers we need. why do we let ourselves neglect?

sometimes we dont like to be told what to do, so please think of this as sharing and not as commanding. its 3:03am, dont ask me for more profound wording than that.

i was just blessed by Acts 10. i recommend it to all.

na na na na na na na,
Ma'am Gallahad

PS: despite that closer, i am very serious about what is said in this post.

for wednesday

2007-03-30T12:29:00.000-07:00

so there i was, at the library with my tutor, taking an AP European History test, when my nose began to itch. i was deeply in concentration on some question about who was the most industrialized, Britain or Germany (it was Germany), so i absentmindedly rubbed at the itchy offender. my absent mind seconds later said "well that was dumb." "yes," my present mind replied, moving my finger to feel the blood starting to drip. "uh oh," i said to my tutor, dismissing myself to the bathroom. i ran into a problem when i got to the back of the building and my nose kept running blood and someone was in the one-room no-stalls woman's bathroom. i was running out of fingers to absorb the blood so i quickly stepped into the empty men's bathroom to grab a paper towel. "that's the men's room, get out of there!" said an old man's voice half-teasing behind me. i turned around and he did a double-take. "well what happened to you? do you want to get in here and get some tissues or something? here" as he grabbed me some toilet paper. "do you want to get in here?" at that moment i heard the toilet in the women's room flush behind me, so i shook my head and said i was fine. i then entered the women's bathroom and proceeded to bleed through the nose so fast that i couldnt pinch my nose as im supposed to because at all times i needed to be grabbing more toilet paper to replace the soaked-through wad on my nose. after about fifteen minutes my tutor came in and asked how i was. when she saw how much blood there was she forgot to listen to my answer and instead offered to call my mother. i agreed simply because Mom works right around the corner from the library. but Mom was not there, so instead the tutor talked to a doctor, who said if i bled for more than twenty minutes to take me to urgent care. the tutor was not allowed to transport me anywhere, so she asked if anyone could come get me. Mom was not answering her cell phone because she was in a meeting half an hour away. i have my brother on speed-dial, so i pressed a button and handed my phone to the tutor. the only problem was, i had our shared car (and was hardly in any shape to drive.) so Andrew agreed to come get me but stated that he would find a car. he proceeded to call at least six different people, none of whom answered their phones, except for Dad, who was at work 45 minutes away. so finally the tutor agreed to drive me to urgent care if Dad would meet her there. i had now been bleeding about an hour, and it had slowed down enough for me to use only one or two tissues to dab as we drove to the urgent care. Mom at this time got the messages and also showed up. after another half hour, my nose had stopped bleeding altogether and we had decided to head to the hospital to get and ear,nose, and throat doctor to cauterize it so this could not happen again. anyway the short version is

my nose is burnt.

there are good days, and better days. there are bad days, really freakishly bad days, and bergalorgatord days. and then there are quotes page days!!

2007-03-27T13:27:00.000-07:00

for yesterday.

"NO! THIS IS SPARTA!"

"The hill just pooped you out again."

"I don't have arms or legs, but I've got a snout!"

"I'm going to commit sonuicide."

the boulevard

2007-03-24T14:58:00.001-07:00

a late memorial

2007-03-19T10:22:00.001-07:00

"Compy and I live in different houses now, so i improvised . .

2007-03-19T10:18:00.000-07:00

.. personally i feel you cant drive slow and then pretend to be aggressive..
"

me too, me too!

2007-03-09T16:55:00.000-08:00

today i got an envelope from Rider University that said i was accepted!

it didnt say congratulations on the envelope though. some people just are lucky. lol

so, Elsa got into a school in MD and i got into a school in NJ. what does that mean? haha

im happy...

cake and cake alone day...er...week!

2007-03-02T11:28:00.000-08:00

i dont want to jump in
(unless the music's thumping)
all the dishes rattle
in the cupboards
when the elephants arrive

PS: my blog will stay healthy- a hunk of cake a day keeps the decease of a blog away

decent christian talk

2007-02-21T20:05:00.000-08:00

The dream is fading, now I'm staring at the door.
I know it's over cause my feet have hit the cold floor.
Check my reflection, I ain't feeling what I see,
it's no mystery.
Whatever happened to a passion I could live for?
What became of the flame that made me feel more?
And when did I forget

that I was made to love You,
I was made to find You,
I was made just for You,
made to adore You.
I was made to love
and be loved by You.

And it's a tragedy (I know)
This state I'm in

Why'd You choose me when You knew I wasn't tough enough?
Why'd You send me when You knew I would run?
Why'd You put me in the places that I didn't want?
Why'd You call me when You knew I'd hang up?

Lost, so lost,
somewhere in the dead of night,
drifting like a satellite
spinning out of control.
But love, Your love
is stronger than gravity,
and it's pulling at the heart of me.
I'm giving in.

"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
-II Corinthians 12:9

grrr to blogger.

2007-02-17T11:00:00.000-08:00

i resent this whole forced change nonsense. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

bonus

2007-02-13T11:55:00.000-08:00

Our land, our shore,
yearns for something to believe in.
White skies. White seas.
Bring us (please) something to believe in.

Stirring below, starting to grow,
is a world full of colors
we can barely remember.
Stirring below, pushing through snow,
there is life, wild life
coming back from December.

Frost lifts, crowds yearn.
Our turn for something to believe in.
Ice melts, streams flow.
All creation knows
something's on the move.

Sweeping the land written in sand
is a world full of colors
we can barely remember.
This is the thaw, this is morning to all,
this is life, wild life,
coming back from December.

Sweeping across the land,
on the move again,
bringing back colors
mourning to joy.

Stirring below, starting to grow
there's a world full of colors
we can barely remember.
Stirring below, pushing through snow,
there is life, wild life
coming back from December.
Sweeping the land written in sand
is a world full of colors
we can barely remember.
This is the thaw, this is morning to all,
this is life, wild life
coming back from December.

why the stereotypes are true: the irish love potatoes

2007-02-05T19:06:00.000-08:00

so you know when a woman is having a baby she craves really weird stuff like spinach or lobster pizza and then whatever she craves the kid ends up liking in some form because that was what the kid ate when he/she was happy and safe in the womb and that was his/her first food, then say if the woman craved things but she could only eat potatoes because that was the only crop that could be raised easily in the climate, then even though she craved other things the baby's first food when he/she was happy and safe in the womb would still be potatoes so then the baby likes potatoes so then the baby eats potatoes so then the baby grows up and gets married and maybe it was a girl baby and then she emigrates to the US with her husband where she gets pregnant and eats potatoes the whole time because she loves potatoes and then she has a baby and the baby loves potatoes and then the baby grows up and gets pregnant and eats potatoes and has a baby who grows up and gets pregnant and eats potatoes and has a baby who grows up and gets pregnant and eats potatoes and that, my friends, is why the Irish love potaotes.

well, okay

2006-12-09T10:16:00.000-08:00

here is some original work. cause i got callede kanye west and stuff for my last posts. and also cause Elsa thought i wrote "devour" and now i feel bad. so heres some poetry for yall

**DISCLAIMER: I CANNOT WRITE POETRY I AM A FICTION WRITER!**

drunk

why this curdled rain
of heavy tears? he’s just a cat,
you know. the cat, silent
asexual Egyptian idoless,
is not to have such invoked tears,
to bring such coughs
of mourning. the question is thrust
at me on all sides by amateur
writers, amateur breathers, who
spout new age catch-phrases,
empowered sexuality of the woman,
just another idiot cynic agenda.

i merely sit with a Canada goose
watching me as i fish for my pencil
and tear off a piece of paper.
he is a good Samaritan,
my little neighbor.
he isn’t here for me, this much i know.
the goose is here, like we all are, for
literature, the duckwalks of the quiet
poem inside the volume tilting beside him.
he watches, with pleading glass eyes while in lead
and paper intoxication i try to settle
a sweet tea accent into answers
to coffee-laden feminist questions.

i cast around,
make excuses for mourning a cat,
say that he was the last, a gray tabby bond
holding us together, a tie to the old life
bounding in from the hunt...
but there are still two parents, two children, one beagle dog.

i look to the goose, and he confirms my answer
in a voice that relates more to milky pond water
than either tea or coffee. but not an ounce of it
can satisfy inquisition, the caffienated “other woman.”
it’s back to the drawing board for me.

on it, i sketch the goose. i tried to make him stand,
but now he sits, wings askew, and thus appears
on paper. i add a beagle
alongside a rabbit, and a cat alongside a mouse,
and over all a lion-lamb combination.

i flip to read the goose’s
poem. there is joy in the sadness of it-
smiles to beggars, daydreams of rain.
maybe, i think,
no hot-beverage reason is needed at all
to want to keep a cat who i have lost
in fiery, smokey loneliness- i know not which-
maybe a cat is a cat,

he is just a cat,
and there is no shame in crying for him.
as for the goose and me,
we aren’t sure we understand.
but at least we’ve got company.

thats something from two poems i wrote in the poetry unit of my literary class in tenth grade. i revised and combined them a couple weeks ago. you can probably tell im really a fiction writer not a poet. heres another one from tenth grade, thus far unchanged.

quizzical

What is inside this,
the box on my desk?
I know it’s not me
in this shining cube.
If I am not inside this box,
does that mean I am thinking
outside of the box?
what about the room?
it’s like a box.
Can I be beyond
the box on my desk
and still inside
the box of this room.
the box of my head?

I’m not allowed to open this box.
Can I open my head to the world?
Or am I closed off
with only tiny gaps
for people to peer inside cautiously,
trying not to get close enough for touching?

so tell me what you all think. but be nice lol they are from when i was eh...16? yeah thats it no maybe even 15 cause it was first quarter. well the first one is sorta from then and sorta from now...well you get it just be nice to the poor fiction writer attempting poetry.

explanations

2006-12-04T15:58:00.000-08:00

Grace is irresistible to us. We cannot stop God from saving us and quickening us.

"Verily, verily, I say unto you, The hour is coming, and now is, when the dead shall hear the voice of the Son of God: and they that hear shall live."
-John 5:25

Salvation is irresistible because God cannot sin or go against Himself, and He plants His Spirit in us.

"He that hath the Son hath life; and he that hath not the Son of God hath not life."
-I John 5

God cannot change His own will or go against it, This is the Trinity working together.

"I can of mine own self do nothing: as I hear, I judge: and my judgment is just; because I seek not mine own will, but the will of the Father which hath sent me."

-John 5:30

Because God can no more resist His will than we can (He can do whatever He wants; however, He doesn't want to go against His own will. obviously.), and this working of the Trinity, grace is irresistible on God's end as well.

Hence...

"I will devour you
Take all the pain away
I cannot stay My hand
From reaching out so that I can
empower you
For all eternity..."

by the way, thats not my original. its the lyrics to a Disturbed song called "Devour." because it wasnt mine, i didnt want to push my interepretation (with the capital m) on you all, but i also didnt want to deny my own interpretation by leaving them lowercase. so i omitted them.

um theres no internet at the house right now- so as soon as i can i will update with some original poetry cause i feel like a cheapskate since Elsa thought that "devour" was my own work, haha. and maybe a regular post, some day.

prayer

2006-11-24T10:55:00.000-08:00

another dream that will never come true
just to complement your sorrow
another "life" that im taking from you
a gift to add on to your pain and suffering

another truth that youll never believe
has crippled you completely
all the cries youre beginning to hear
trapped in your mind and the sound is deafening

let me enlighten you
this is the way i pray

living just isnt hard enough
burn me alive inside
living my lifes not hard enough
take everything away

another nightmare about to come true
will manifest tomorrow
another love that im taking from you
lost in time, on the edge of suffering
another day of the evil i believe
will level you completely
bring to life everything that you fear
live in the dark and the world is threatening

let me enlighten you
this is the way i pray

living just isnt hard enough
burn me alive inside
living my lifes not hard enough
take everything away

some thoughts to think on- i promise to bring some original ones soon, and an explanation of my last two posts...but i havent got internet at the new house yet, so patience!

hebrews?

2006-11-04T20:55:00.000-08:00

still enough
although I know youre not begging
still as the thoughts running through your mind
still enough
although I know youre not begging
give -e a reason to make you -ine

I will devour you
take all the pain away
I cannot stay -y hand
from reaching out so that I can
empower you
for all eternity
it seems to ease -y mind
to know that youve brought meaning to
-y life

had enough
although I see youre not running
still are the thoughts running through your mind
had enough
although I see youre not running
show -e the reason to make you -ine

I will devour you
take all the pain away
I cannot stay -y hand
from reaching out so that I can
empower you
for all eternity
it seems to ease -y mind
to know that youve brought meaning to
-y life

run
to where the smallest ray of light will never find you
run
to where you will not need to shield your eyes
run
away from all the soulless, heartless fiends who hound you
run
away and let your memories go blind

when I devour you
take all the pain away
I cannot stay -y hand
from reaching out so that I can
empower you
for all eternity
it seems to ease -y mind
to know that youve brought meaning to -y life

life is like....

2006-10-29T11:52:00.000-08:00

take the quiz.

DUH

school, fool!

simile (n.) comparison or a comparison of things basically unlike but having some striking similarities

yeah so...school sucks!

2006-10-26T10:59:00.000-07:00

i got an email from my guidance counselor saying that my english teacher has significantly lowered my grade due to 3 unexcused absences. what?!?! i have missed his class i think four times, as a matter of fact. two of them i wasnt even absent from school and had a note for my lateness, meaning those were both excused. one i was absent from school and this was before the lowering of the grade, as in before interims, meaning that isnt part of this at all, and it was excused as well. and one was...um...TODAY. what the crap??? he also says im missing assignments. what assignments, i dont know.

i have a nasty feeling there may be one im forgetting. but still, that doesnt call for all of this.

school sucks. im dropping out to be a street corner musician.

testing, check, check, cash or credit? poetry, trips, and legalities

2006-10-23T14:04:00.000-07:00

On reaching tree roads
my mind reaches, climbs
bright golden-limbed leaves.
I am another place

envisioning creamsicle throat laughs
and shuffled hourglasses of radio static
which deal out some rev. Love is not
like chalk. Here it sets giddy
stonework in a cathedralled journey
on red-glow slick streets.

I'm laughed at low, but in sympathetic
vents warming giggles and perspective
where I'm sad. Slick streets
and factory lights, we put up
parking brakes under lampposts
and inspect, inspect, inspect

the present. I return to the
limosine at the foot of the trees
and break my leg on the blue
firmament in the knuckle-scraping
fall from the heavens.

all right, im no poet. but this poem went through almost being lost, drowned in the ocean, forgotten, and eaten by blogger, yet survived and so it deserves some recognition. (if this post somehow duplicates itself, dont be surprised. but do be annoyed.) and where better to put some object masquerading as a poem than here on the internet, where you can't see faces and we are all masquerading as grandeur?

Your Personality Is Like Cocaine

You're dynamic, brilliant, and alluring to those who don't know you.

Hyper and full of energy, you're usually the last one to leave a party.

Sometimes your sharp mind gets the better of you... you're a bit paranoid!

What Drug Is Your Personality Like?

hilarious. and worthless. but amusing. my only addiction is guitar. here, have a quiz for yourselves:

A QUIZ!

hope you enjoyed. yesterday made for at least 1 good sermon and 2 months of the best day ever. in closing, have some Weird Al lyrics, since we apparently share the same musical tastes. (see previous posts.)

WEIRD AL

see yall from court.

flow, flow, flow pancreatic juice

2006-09-29T10:15:00.000-07:00

the compy desk just barked me in the shins. Weird Al came out with a new CD. i got my drivers license. golly gee, i love my pancreas. oh and party on All Saints' Eve. that is Halloween. e.g. the day of the 95 Theses, Calvinian Message, and Go. rock on.

church and communion

2006-09-17T16:03:00.000-07:00

I gave My life for thee
My precious blood I shed
That thou might'st ransomed be
And quickened from the dead

My Father's house of light
My glory-circled throne
I left for earthly night
For wand'rings sad and lone

I suffered much for thee
More than thy tongue can tell
Of bitt'rest agony
To rescue thee from hell

And I have brought to thee
Down from My home above
Salvation full and free
My pardon and My love

I left, I left it all for thee
Hast thou left aught for Me?
I left, I left it all for thee
Hast thou left aught for Me?

~Frances R. Havergal
"I Gave My Life For Thee"
written as though from the perspective of the Lord
and arranged by me

"And you hath he quickened, who were dead in trespasses and sins;
Wherein in time past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience:
Among whom also we all had our conversation in times past in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind; and were by nature the children of wrath, even as others.
But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us,
Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ (by grace are ye saved;)
And hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus:
That in ages to come he might show the exceeding riches of his grace in his kindness toward us through Christ Jesus."

~the apostle Paul by inspiration of the Holy Spirit
Ephesians 2:1-7
really by the Lord

"And he saith unto them, Be not affrighted: Ye seek Jesus of Nazareth, which was crucified: he is risen; he is not here: behold the place where they laid him.
But go your way, tell his disciples and Peter that he goeth before you into Galilee: there shall ye see him, as he said unto you."

~John Mark by inspiration of the Holy Spirit
Mark 16:6-7
really by the Lord

9.11.01

2006-09-11T20:53:00.000-07:00

We will never forget.

playing music

2006-09-03T22:23:00.000-07:00

is probably the greatest feeling of the world

speaking of great

"Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit; so shall ye be my disciples.
As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love.
If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father's commandments, and abide in his love.
These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full.
This is my commandment, that ye love one another, as I have loved you.
Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I have commanded you."
-John 15:8-14

now thats something great...but not of this world. again, that whole chapter is outstanding and needs reading- but i havent quite gotten there yet.

on the whole, i had a good weekend despite being not allowed to go camping due to malevolent weather conditions. friends are a good thing, which i guess is what inspires the verses included with this post- but it was also the fact that i thought about music being great and there was the whole word connection there. its like scrabble, you know, connected words?
question of the year: is playing scrabble with a dictionary cheating? if you didnt know the word, are you still allowed to use it? Dad found something on a website about self-publishing books. pretty cool. after i get done with all the current book ideas floating in my head, im going to write a scrabble devotional. its going to go in steps and have something to do with a nun taking over the world. ummm...actually thats something else. you wouldnt know about it unless youve read the book "Searching For God Knows What" which sounds like an irreverent title but is not an irreverent book. its sort of like Bruce Almighty in that way.

schools back. BARF well hey i do rule Saturn, i can abolish school there- but by the time i get THAT through Saturnian Parliament, ill have graduated with one big headache. they are slow as molasses. molasses pouring into my ear and sticking to my brain, only its this unending slow **SPLSCHK** of molasses until it just gets so thick and slimy in there that its exploding out my sinuses.

that was an excellent metaphor...ill have to remember it for my scrabble devotional...

the best day ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-08-22T11:16:00.000-07:00

its today.

back

2006-08-12T20:49:00.000-07:00

well im back from my many vacationings, and apparently i have to comment on my brothers posts because he said so. its bad to hate cats. (see Andrews post entitled "I Do Not Hate Cats" and the comments on it.) actually i didnt really have many vacationings, just two, one to the beach and one to camp. so now im back to having no life whatsoever. argh. at least i can relax for awhile, right? i mean, in between my duties as ruler of the planet...

You Should Rule Saturn

Saturn is a mysterious planet that can rarely be seen with the naked eye.

You are perfect to rule Saturn because like its rings, you don't always follow the rules of nature.

And like Saturn, to really be able to understand you, someone delve beyond your appearance.

You are not an easy person to befriend. However, once you enter a friendship, you'll be a friend for life.

You think slowly but deeply. You only gain great understanding after a situation has past.

What Planet Should You Rule?

...anyway, ive probably got more important things to do right now, but who cares? um...where was i? sorry i was interrupted by a call from my Ambassador to the UN, you know, Saturns ambassador to the UN? i hate the UN, so i think im going to fire him soon. i mean, i dont actually hate the UN...i just think...that...its...worthless. i hear it gives some aid to people sometimes, but heck, thats what we have the Red Cross for.

well, i think ive straightened everything out on my new planet for now, and i just need to remember what i was writing about here on my blog so i can go on vacation. i noticed recently that the people of Saturn voted me in on the basis that im a der. im not sure how i feel about that. i should have kept a closer eye on my advertising campaign. figures id only realize this once i saw the posters they used during my campaign: "Vote Ma'am Gallahad for the next Saturnian President: She thinks slowly." after i fire the UN ambassador im firing those people too.

IM NOT REALLY A DER

or so say some people back here on Earth

and even if i am, at least i have a pancreas.

yesssssssssssssssss ...lol

2006-07-27T19:39:00.000-07:00

you people need to go read my other posts. check this out:

Weird Al Shares Your Taste in Music

See his whole playlist here (iTunes required)

Which Musician (or Group) Shares Your Taste in Music?

bass and bass alone day

2006-07-26T20:01:00.000-07:00

a very happy bass and bass alone day to Elsa, who is now a whole 19. and no i dont mean the fish.

wait is that-

um, i mean birthday. yeah that. i are not all on drugs.

er...uh...i forget words.

so, one day i will make a post with some original thoughts...

2006-07-22T20:05:00.000-07:00

...but for now, i will just offer y'all some more heavenly thoughts i thunk on...

"There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.
For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death.
For what the law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh, God sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and for sin, condemned sin in the flesh:
That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.
For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit.
For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.
Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be.
So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God.
But ye are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you. Now if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his.
And if Christ be in you, the body is dead because of sin; but the Spirit is life because of righteousness.
But if the Spirit of him that raised up Jesus from the dead dwell in you, he that raised up Christ from the dead shall also quicken your mortal bodies by his Spirit that dwelleth in you.
Therefore, brethren, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live after the flesh.
For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live.
For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.
For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.
The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God:
And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.
For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.
For the earnest expectation of the creature waiteth for the manifestation of the sons of God...
...What shall we say then to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?
He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?
Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God's elect? It is God that justifieth.
Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us.
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
As it is written, for thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.
Nay, in all these things, we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.
For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
-Romans 8:1-19...31-39

"For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.
But if I live in the flesh, this is the fruit of my labor: yet what I shall choose I wot not.
For I am in a strait between two, having a desire to depart, and to be with Christ; which is far better:
Nevertheless to abide in the flesh is more needful for you."
-Philippians 1:21-24

okay, maybe i could include some original thoughts. all of Romans 8 is just outstanding and you should go home and read it...oh wait, that wasnt me, that was Elder Bloyd. guess im just trying to compensate for his recent absence from Mt.Carmel :-( due to illness. anyway, the real point is, i skipped an excellent chunk of Romans 8 for the sake of pointing out which portions had been weighing on my mind as well as for the sake of all of your eyes. i know you all have Bibles and can look up the references for yourselves.

speaking of Bibles, the Hebrew/English New Testament i ordered for Megan arrived today. thats pretty awesome, except for the fact that i ordered it two months ago. rrrrr. oh well. its pretty nice, but id like to get an Old Testament of the same nature. if you think its hard to find KJV Bibles you should try finding a Hebrew/ KJV English Bible. yeah. ive been looking for this for about 3 years. finally gave in and got the NT separate, only because i wasnt sure if it had the OT as well and it was free.

funny thing about the Scripture, though. i was going to just send it back if it didnt have the OT, or as i put it, if i was unsatisfied and didnt like it- but once it got here, i saw the Word of God in my hands and i liked it. still working on the OT. point is, somehow in the face of actual Scripture it is pretty difficult to quench the Spirit and go against it, and its not something thats worth the effort.

im talking too much. in conclusion...uh...here have a fun quiz result i got! and tell me what you think! about this post in general and the accuracy of this quiz!

You Are a Blue Flower

A blue flower tends to represent peace, openness, and balance.

At times, you are very delicate like a cornflower.

And at other times, you are wise like an iris.

And more than you wish, you're a little cold, like a blue hydrangea.

What Color Flower Are You?

thoughts i thunk on

2006-07-20T22:22:00.000-07:00

"And it shall be at that day, saith the Lord, that thou shalt call me Ishi [my husband]; and shalt call me no more Baali [my lord]...And I will betroth thee unto me for ever; yea, I will betroth thee unto me in righteousness, and in judgment, and in lovingkindness, and in mercies. I will even betroth thee unto me in faithfulness: and thou shalt know the Lord."
-Hosea 2:16...19-20

Losers Win

2006-07-18T12:43:00.000-07:00

Losers Win

well i havent got much to say today but i think its time to restart the blogs since Colvin and Elsa are the only people posting and we wouldnt want them to be lonely. or be cooler than us.

anyways, so instead of making a lengthy post of lengthyness, i give y'all this quiz. you complained that none of my quizzes make sense so fine- try this one on for size

well perhaps ill have more to say later

PS: this quiz is retarded and cuts off words.

things to come, at last

2006-06-15T10:39:00.000-07:00

Wabbits

this is a quiz. take it.

my most exciting day so far this week was tuesday. we melted vitamin E pills and taffy in the microwave. the vitamin E pills were gross. they popped and looked like dirty contacts. the taffy, however, hardened into shards and tasted kind of like flavored carmel shards, so that was cool. then, Andrew left for work, and Colvin and i melted more taffy, but then we were bored of that, so we took Moms "All Out Of" grocery list and checked off everything we were out of. that was really exciting. then Colvin made tunafish. then we gathered 5 lighters and went outside, but we were stopped by the Orkin lady, who was spraying around the house on the pavement and cement where we planned to burn things. so we went into the woods, at the mouth of the trail, and Colvin jumped around on stacks of wood and old trailers that we thought we should hitch to the Subaru. i watched flutterbys and other such fun bugs, and showed off the height of flame on each of my lighters.

finally we gave up on the Orkin lady and walked down to the bridge over the stream to burn things. we torched a perfume-doused packet of sugar-in-the-raw, and a cough drop wrapper, and found out that those stiff-paper type advertisement things that come in magazines dont burn very well. then the Orkin lady drove down over the bridge. her window was down and we saw her laughing at us as we grabbed our flaming mess and lighters and dove out of her way. after that we kept trying to burn the packet of sugar-in-the-raw, which had been only sort of smoking, and it got better after we ripped it open, and we found that tossing the sugar on other things on fire made sparks and was exciting

then we decided to go swimming in the stream, but by the time we walked back to the house, we were too lazy and just wanted to go someplace with air conditioning. maybe some other time. yeah. so we played MarioParty instead and got very obsessed with beating this one Bowser minigame and then with getting up to 7 monkeys chasing us on "Apes of Wrath" but Mom interrupted and made us come out to get dinner. after dinner Andrew got back from work and the three of us went to get coffee at Starbucks. only i dont like coffee so i got hot chocolate.

yesterday was less exciting. it started with getting up much early to be outside in the morningness and lie on the hammock and talk. then, in the middle, i started reading Little Women. then Elsa called and i talked to her. then i went to church. no fire or anything. so you see the lameness of my life.

today has only just begun, since i was tired from getting up early yesterday and slept very in. so the only point is that i know a thing to come, which is the Annual Meeting this weekend. im getting more and more excited the closer it gets but in a sort of solemn quiet way. tomorrow, it begins. awesomenesses.

well this is already much too long and much too boring so off i go

things past and things present

2006-06-08T10:53:00.000-07:00

speaking of which, im gonna do a study on the book of Revelation sometime.

oh, and i cant write about things to come because i dont know yet.

yesterday, i called class. the teacher did not. so i went back to sleep and called other class. then i called other class and made much pretty drawings on my dry-erase board, complete with pictures taken by my phone. then the colvinator came after i played my burning uncle ben solo for awhile. we worked on a new song, which is cool. we took some of my crappy old middle school poetry and made it song lyricified and awesome. so thats nice. sometimes i wonder why we cant take our own songs advice though, but that more stems from this article i read in a magazine at Mr.PhysicalTherapistMans office while waiting for an appointment. also i had a lot of random songs stuck in my head. baby beluga...chug-a-lug...we're the three threeketeers....WHAT DONT ANY OF YOU PEOPLE KNOW HOW TO COUNT?!?!?!? well you shoulda learned to count to three on Sesame Street like me. blah. should learn to count a lot of things...not necesarily on Sesame Street...for example i had to count up to 49 today in order to see how much of this posting page had loaded. anyway...then i went to church, which is always good although i like Sundays better than Wednesdays and am more looking forward to the next studying plan the pastor has than the current Proverbs reading. i also got DAVASAURUSREXED while i was there. fun fun.

today has been uneventful so far. i called class...all three teachers attended this time. did some chores. took care of my regular internet activities. now ive busted out my guitar to work on the solo that owns your souls and wait for the colvinator to arrive. so...im gonna do that now. bye

im trying to think of something wittier to say than disturbed and disturbed alone day

2006-06-03T19:48:00.000-07:00

but today is indeed disturbed and disturbed alone day, and im bringin yall another disturbing creation from the mind of me! the dork who is in fact statistically one free new cell phone more of a nondork than katie! well almost statistically because she hasnt gotten it yet, but i never could. i found out that even though the things i love best in life are my family and well, often, books, they sometimes result in working with fear and trembling. for example, my brother is playing RELIENT K to protest Disturbed and Disturbed alone day. I HATE RELIENT K. i just went capitalization. im full of weird realizations but hating relient k is not one of them, ive known that a long time. i just went uncapitalization. anyway, matty t's voice grates on me, he sounds...no offense if you happen to be matty t...he sounds like a nasally 12 year old. yeah. plus i generally dont like the genre he sings in. i think they sound like nasally 12 year olds on purpose. but then theres the fact that their drumbeats are all lame and the same and they just have one strumming pattern on a couple power chords AND they strum their bass the same way and thats lame lame lame. i could go on about music for a long time in case you cant tell. i like guitar. my burning uncle ben solo owns your soul. im on kRack. JK which is fun. um......TOODLES

KoRn and KoRn alone day

2006-06-02T20:27:00.000-07:00

hey you, hey you, i need to be cfs walked in the rain cause im a freak on a leash...

today is KoRn and KoRn alone day and im eatin it up!

trigger happy, trigger happy every day

2006-05-27T11:47:00.000-07:00

i am very bored and would like to point out that my last two posts did not actually occur on the same day and blogger is out with its friends in its new mercedes benz and its....

ON DRUGSSSS

besides that, i have made more quiz!

Quiz Dos

Quiz Uno

i just got done being scarred for life

2006-05-22T14:48:00.000-07:00

see how much you know! this is quiz i made. hear its rave reviews!

"your quiz is on crack."
-tagoty

"that made literally absolutely no sense."
-kornyguy

QUIZ!

little blue men

2006-05-22T08:33:00.000-07:00

i had a nice weekend far away but i wont remember till an hour from now when we are eating what i want to say.

i slept oddly with weird dreams about telephones and concerts and woke up on the wrong side of the closet this morning, a unique experience. whats up with the fact that you say "a unique" when its supposed to be "an" before words beginning with "u", anyway? and whats up with how "u" is the new way to say "you"?

so after that i called class and the teacher was distracted and put us on hold for like twenty minutes. ive never been put on hold by a teacher before. it was amusing, but instead of being amused i took a nap. i kept worrying that i was going to sleep through her coming back to the phone, too, which you know, doesnt usually happen but it does when youre a teleclass person

see theres high class theres upper middle class theres lower middle class theres low class and then theres teleclass. thats me. high class folks eat meals with multiple diplomats. upper middle class folks eat meals with multiple courses. middle class folks eat meals with multiple forks. lower middle class folks eat meals with multiple dishes. low class folks eat meals with multiple fingers. teleclass folks dont eat meals with multiples. they cant multiply anyway, nor can they copy the essay instructions down as the teacher reads them.

essays are suck.

then after i hung up on english class i disturbed my musical receptors. if you dont know what i mean, i say to you, you probably dont know me very well and/or dont want to and/or you just aint in the mood to be into word games.

then i had to call other class. i learned about why wet roads are hard to see in headlights and then i hung up on that one too. anyway im bored of talking about it now so.....

Before too too long
You might hear from me again, just wait long
Enough- till then

urmom

2006-05-15T12:58:00.000-07:00

yesterday

its like saying "happy birthday" to someone and they say "oh thanks, you too". its not your birthday.

i got dat swagga back

2006-05-13T20:07:00.000-07:00

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning."
-James 1:17

so gifts. theres lots of kinds of those. theres like...talent-type spiritual gifts and then theres like....Christmas gifts and like....birthday gifts...and then theres like...the bad gifts you get from people that dont know you very well....and then theres like, gifts that my mother gives cause she really wants them for herself. she hates bugs.

anyway so one of the most happy gifts that God gives us is interaction type gifts. like, here is a perfect gift: our relationship/ interaction with God. see thats a perfect gift, as in every perfect gift, as in the quote. (also see I Corinthinas 13:12) and then, here is a good gift: our relationships with family and friend-type peoples. then there is another good gift: our relationships with animals. (see Genesis 1&2 for details.)

so that stuffs awesome, you know, top priority really.

but then theres another good gift. in fact, its not just a good gift, its more like a...ROCKIN gift. now mind you, i already established top priority but this, this....ROCKS. this is called music, oh yeah, JAMAWAY, the FSS are back in action, wed been outta comission for a long time but we played today and it was beast. i remember what i live for. yeah the guitar it calls to me. the beastliness...yeah...it makes me feel happy and and....get that grinning we done good kinda feeling and uh...

ROCK

PAPER

SCISSORS

....er thats something else.

anyway the point is....we are back and its awesome. RAUGH<--some kind of musical type hard rock noise

today students wont

2006-05-12T12:26:00.000-07:00

well ive started being tutored. teleclasses.

"there is no other way. its teleVISION not telePHONE."
-Willy Wonka the Amazing Chocolatier

that statement has nothing to do with anything. so back to my point!

i will now be spending most of my days pondering the thought that the people in my history teleclass dont know who Dwight Eisenhower was...or what country he was from. further, the kids in my physics class cant multiply 2* 1.5 ("uh...3.5?") and that i myself cannot get through an English class without disappearing into a vortex.

we are all sick kids. thats why.

in other news, the prime rib roast minister...

oh. thats something else.

"I want her to find someone that will see her always as I do now...through Your eyes."
-wacky Bruce Nolan, Mr. Exclusive, and recipient of many lessons in the lovely movie "Bruce Almighty" which is also where the prime rib roast quote is from

well thats the morning report...

"why wont he be the king i know he is, the king i see inside?"
-Nala upon falling madly in love with Simba
"i tell ya Puumba, this stinks."
-Timon upon Simbas falling madly in love with Nala

...brought to you in the afternoon by WADMBTV (waluigi and daisy must be terminated visionwithoutthetele), Inc.

anyway im feeling a little like Kuzco or Timon. one of those two. or Fozzie Bear! thats what my muppet personality quiz said i was. in closing...well why would i let myself close this out? been dropping quotes like litter so how about one more quote to make up for it, a little nature, like dropping a ray of sunshine on this crazy little blog entry...

"Brethren, pray for us."
-the apostle Paul by inspiration of the Holy Spirit in I Thessalonians 5:25

today students will

2006-04-18T19:13:00.000-07:00

i woke up to the sound of the phone.
i answered it and found out about school.
i hung up.
i ate some more pills, pillhead.
i poked myself in the eye until my contacts were in.
i showered, washing off with soap.
i threw up.
i showered some more, shampooing my hair.
i sat outside doing schoolwork and being divebombed by robins while on the phone.
i sat inside doing schoolwork and being divebombed by words.
i had an idea.
i went to eat pizza.
i ate some sherbert.
i updated my blog.
i realized that i must be pretty dang self obsessed to start every sentence with the word i.
i realized that blogs are in fact about yourself.
i got blogs banned by the Pope.
i was just kidding about the last four sentences i wrote.
the rest of it was completely true.